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categories ::Not the potentially-porn, you dirty people. The year in review.
This was the year of:
1) The most amazing conversation with Bear, ever.
Every time I try to talk about it, I can't. So I think I will wait yet another day to try.
This year was also the best year of married life, in part because of that conversation.
2) The (for want of a better word) refining of friendships.
I got to spend more time with high school friends than I have in years, which has been a fantastic mishmosh of stomping old grounds (Alhambra, Canter's, etc.), stitching and bitching, and discovering the evils of "Invader Zim". A couple folks that I had casually thought fun at CCM became some of my best friends through creativity, shared hardship and/or living space, extravagant dining and repeated viewings of "Lord of the Rings". I feel like I've been slack with the Carls, but I did manage to catch a couple very joyous wedding weekends. And I'm going to better about that this year.
And I've finally accepted, I think, that I'm probably never going to be close to ___ again. It's embarrassing, in a way, that it still hurts. But maybe getting over it is what this year will be for.
3) The redefining of priorities.
I am willing to quit a job if it prevents me from composing. I am willing to take a job that pays less if it offers flexibility, or more time with my husband. This should have always been basic. It is now.
4) The figuring out of family.
I've stopped bristling in that inadequate-feeling-teenager way around family. My cousins and siblings have been learning slowly to be together like friends, instead of like family members who all hide a little something of themselves. I've been talking to Mom more and more, and we've been learning a lot about each other.
This is the first year I've felt completely myself at home. That's huge.
5) Reading stuff out loud.
I had no idea how pleasurable this was going to be. Gabe and I read The Lord of the Rings aloud over some nine months, and it was fantastic. How fabulous is it to be read to by someone who has geeked out enough to read Elvish fluently, who does a madly wonderful Treebeard voice? Bear read The Hitchhiker's Guide series to me--if you know how zany and geeky and generally cracked out the books are, and if you know Bear, you will understand how ideal he was for this. Bear and I are now working on the Harry Potter series. It's fabulous.
6) Starting yoga and tai chi.
Energy really does flow through the body, yo. I can't tell you how much these two things improved my quality of life, calmed me down, and helped me get back into the groove of feeling chi.
7) Learning to cook.
Oh yes. I finally get how this works. A great evil has been born.
8) Finding my new idol.
Kaija Saariaho. Straight up, yo.
So, basically, 2004 came down to two things: discovering all sorts of sensual delights, from the stretchy-spiritual to the aural to the gluttonous; and looking at all the people around me and finding ways to really understand them and me and how stuff works. It's hard to explain but I assure you that it's quite lovely. I'm learning that the love is only as good as the person giving it and the person getting it. It's taken me a long time to really wrap my head around that.
All in all, I learned way more than I expected to last year.
Wow. Yeah, I really did.
What a fabulous year.
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